Don’t judge a book by it’s cover

There’s this theory that anyone who’s struggling with their Mental Health must be pessimistic, easy to spot, the odd one out. That’s not true.

In my friend group, I’m known as the optimist, the listener, the person who likes to give advice if asked, yet, I can not take my own advice. It screams out hypocrite.

Sometimes it’s the people that seem the happiest that are the saddest.

I’m saying this because we are all guilty of judging a book by it’s cover – that girl in work who is always smiling might not be smiling on the inside. That lad who’s always having a laugh, who’s got an amazing sense of humour, might think his life is one big horrific joke.

When you feel lonely and you’re thinking that everyone is coping so much better than you. Remember, that some people hide it well. Do your family, friends, colleagues or even partner know how lonely you truly feel? If they don’t fully know what you’re going through – do you think it could be likely that someone you know is going through the same thing and you don’t know?

You are not alone.

So next time you’re on Facebook, Twitter or Instagram, try not to get caught up in those negative thoughts when you see that picture of a beautiful wedding, amazing holiday or knock-out party because maybe, just maybe, they are only letting you see what they want you to see – just like you.

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19 thoughts on “Don’t judge a book by it’s cover

  1. The Glitter Fairy says:

    This is so very true, and it’s a great exercise in empathy. Another excellent reason to always give the benefit of the doubt, show grace and kindness to others.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. mindmasterjedi says:

    Thanks for the follow and I’m glad it has brought your blog to my attention. You should see I’m another one trying to stop this hush hush about mental heath. There’s a lot of things I talk about in reference to this subject. Have a look into my quotes, there’s a good amount that you might like. There are some with an underlying message that “normal” people won’t see.
    Well, I’m looking forward to read more of your posts and hope you like mine as well.

    Liked by 2 people

    • shushdonttalk says:

      I can relate to so many things you have wrote about – today I avoided making an important call to work – an issue which I will have to face again tomorrow. That’s what I’m learning through blogging – that I’m not alone and there are people on the same wavelength as me. I’m looking forward to reading more quotes and posts!

      Liked by 2 people

      • mindmasterjedi says:

        Yup, and you probably stressed all day, and now stressing al night about that call you could have just got it over and done with. It took me a while before I changed my behavior. I didn’t slowly improve or correct it, I went “cold turkey” and instantly changed when I reached a point of ENOUGH! lol everyone has there own way of doing it (as long as they do)
        Please if you could whenever you have something anything I’m always asking for request. There is no shortage of things to write about, I would prefer to write about things others want to read.

        Liked by 2 people

    • painkills2 says:

      But it takes so much physical and mental effort to be something you are not… to wear a mask most of the time. I guess it’s hard for depressives to make and keep friends (it is for chronic pain patients), so this mask can help with that. But if these people were truly your friends, they would accept all parts of you, the good and the bad. No one’s perfect, and we should stop putting in all that effort to convince ourselves and others that we are.

      On the other hand, wearing a mask can be an important part of fitting in with the world around us. And it takes a lot of courage and strength to keep that mask in place, so we are stronger for it. I don’t know, maybe we would be stronger without the mask?

      Liked by 2 people

      • itsjustmejackie says:

        I think about that all the time but for me, it doesn’t feel like a mask. It feels like my true self and the depression feels foreign to me. It feels like an unnatural state. Not sure of any other depressives feel that way. I had a bad episode today and it’s just so frustrating to me. Exhausting really.

        Liked by 2 people

      • shushdonttalk says:

        You’re right, it does take a lot of physical and mental effort to wear a mask, but I guess people do it for different reasons. I tend to do it because it can help get me through the day when I’m feeling especially low – I can put it on and get out of bed and not be such a wreck throughout the day.

        I agree, real friends and family should accept you for who you are, but unfortunately there are still people out there with quite old-fashioned views. For example, my Grandma who I love dearly doesn’t understand Depression, she sees it as a selfish illness where people should just be able to pull themselves together and get on with it. Her opinion is that during the war, people had a lot to deal with and got on with it, so she doesn’t understand Depression, no matter how many times I’ve tried to explain. However, I also know that if she saw me in one of my depressive episodes, she wouldn’t be able to handle it, she worries and I wouldn’t want to worry her or see me when I’m like that.

        It’s a tricky one! In an ideal world everyone would be accepting and no masks would ever be needed. But, I do think wearing a mask can help some (at work or when dealing with certain people) as long as it’s not a permanent thing – and you do have time to be yourself. You do need someone in your life who you can be yourself around too – whether that’s family, friend or a partner, someone to share your pain with, whether it is physical or mental. Unfortunately talking about it is easier said than done which is why the internet can be such a brilliant place. It lets you talk without the fear of ruining existing relationships. It can also give you tips on how to talk to those you know.

        Sorry, I’ve rambled, I guess my point is – everyone is different and everyone deals with things in their own way. Mask or no mask, you’re right, either way they’re strong.

        Liked by 1 person

      • shushdonttalk says:

        I’m sorry to hear you’ve had a bad day – it can be so exhausting. I’ve been signed off work for 4 weeks because I’m struggling too. Life is hard, but I find talking on here helps – do you? By admitting you’re having a bad day is a great step though, it shows that you’re being optimistic, even though it might not feel like it – by saying it’s a bad day means that there’s room for good days, fun days, happy days too.

        You’re strong for talking, and everyone has bad days or periods in their lives, but that feeling doesn’t last forever. Keep fighting and talking and things will improve 😊

        Liked by 1 person

      • shushdonttalk says:

        Unfortunately it doesn’t. I’m the same Jackie – the more I know the more I want it to stop. Pain is pain whether you’re suffering physically or mentally – the more you know doesn’t necessarily make the pain any less. I think life is about that finding that thing that can get you through the pain which could be talking, walking, sewing, singing, dancing, writing, listening to music – anything that helps you as a person get through whatever it is you need to get through.

        Liked by 1 person

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