Be Proud of the Little Things

At the end of the week, you’ll judge whether it was good week or not by how many bad things have happened right?

It was a rubbish week because: ‘I didn’t do the laundry, I didn’t go to work, I was late, I missed my deadline, I forgot to call my Mum’ etc.

We’re always so quick to judge ourselves, to put ourselves down but never so quick to give ourselves a little praise or recognition. It’s as if we are setting the tone for the weeks to come.

Personally, I like the sound of – ‘it was a good week because: I got up every day even when I really didn’t want to, I went to work even though it was hard, I paid my bills on time, I cooked dinner, I washed the pots even though I didn’t have the energy’…

I’m not saying it’s easy to change your mindset, to think differently – but I do think it’s worth a shot – what do you have to lose by trying?

Stop being so modest and give yourself some credit. 

I’ve used it in work before – I had a meeting with Management, they went on and on about how I was 10 minutes late 3 days in a row, fair enough, but, it set the tone for the meeting. Everything they said was negative until they asked me for my thoughts. I said, they were right, I shouldn’t have been 10 minutes late, but I was proud of myself for making it in each day when I was struggling. I told them that I’d actually achieved a lot that week, which I didn’t expect at the beginning of the week. I’d tried hard and won. Do you know what they told me? They said well done and keep up the good work! They stuttered at first, struggled to form a sentence, I mean what could they say back to that? No, you did wrong for trying so hard? I actually walked out of that meeting with a smile on my face, which was amazing considering how anxious I was going into the meeting!

Be proud of yourself, no matter how much you’ve done that week because what you have done is survive. You’ve got through another day when life was hard, when you’ve felt so low, you’ve fought and that shows real strength. Strength to be proud of.

So give it a go, think of some positives for this week – did you change the sheets? Iron? Go to the shops? Remember to eat lunch? Text a friend? No matter what it is, I bet it’s something that took effort and energy – so don’t think of the stuff you haven’t done, think of the stuff you have done because you just might be stronger than you think.

Mental Health and Work

Working whilst learning to cope with your Mental Health is hard. 

I don’t think enough credit is given to those who have found that balance between their work life and Mental Health. It’s inspiring. I also think those companies that are supportive of their employees should be an example to those that struggle to do just that.

My Dr signed me off yesterday but unfortunately work will not give me sick pay for the time I have off. Do I concentrate on my health or do I pay my bills and eat? 

I think work has contributed to my slip in Mental Health, before, work made me happy, gave me routine and made me feel valued. Now, I’m struggling. My colleague has resigned, I’ve sought help from a Bullying Advisor after a change in Management and my Mental Health is at an all time low.

After much thought, I think finding a new job is the change I need. But what kind of job? I plan events for a University, do I find a similar job or do I branch out? In an ideal world, I wouldn’t have any financial restraints, I would have time to look for a job rather than want to get away from the bullying before it brings me down any further and not have to worry about putting food on the table.

Change is ahead and it’s not going to be easy, but since when has life ever been easy? I’ve overcome much more than this, so I’ve got to believe I can do this too. It’s only me that can make the change, no one else. You spend the majority of your time in work – and if there’s no support there it can have a real impact on your health, so it’s time to get searching and to get applying!

I’ve got this, I’ve totally got this…I think!

SUICIDE LASTS FOREVER – WHAT YOU’RE FEELING NOW DOESN’T

I’m posting a page from a short guide which really struck a chord with me – it’s something I read when I need too, to help put those thoughts to the back of my mind.

That’s why I want to share it – maybe it will strike a chord with you too?

You might feel like there’s no way out, that this is the only option – but remember that’s how you feel now. I’ve learnt that those feelings don’t last forever. The future can bring smiles, fun and laughter.

I remember watching a stand-up comedian on DVD and really laughing my head off, then I realised how much I enjoyed being alive in that moment, to have my sides hurt from laughter, to not be able to catch my breath from giggling so much, to have happy tears running down my face. After feeling so low, it made me truly appreciate the joy I felt.

It’s true, it’s the little things that make life worthwhile, that make living worth it and those little things are more attainable than you think. 

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Don’t judge a book by it’s cover

There’s this theory that anyone who’s struggling with their Mental Health must be pessimistic, easy to spot, the odd one out. That’s not true.

In my friend group, I’m known as the optimist, the listener, the person who likes to give advice if asked, yet, I can not take my own advice. It screams out hypocrite.

Sometimes it’s the people that seem the happiest that are the saddest.

I’m saying this because we are all guilty of judging a book by it’s cover – that girl in work who is always smiling might not be smiling on the inside. That lad who’s always having a laugh, who’s got an amazing sense of humour, might think his life is one big horrific joke.

When you feel lonely and you’re thinking that everyone is coping so much better than you. Remember, that some people hide it well. Do your family, friends, colleagues or even partner know how lonely you truly feel? If they don’t fully know what you’re going through – do you think it could be likely that someone you know is going through the same thing and you don’t know?

You are not alone.

So next time you’re on Facebook, Twitter or Instagram, try not to get caught up in those negative thoughts when you see that picture of a beautiful wedding, amazing holiday or knock-out party because maybe, just maybe, they are only letting you see what they want you to see – just like you.

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Shush Don’t Talk…

Mental Health has always been a bit hush hush – but I’m going to try and change that by speaking out.

It’s currently 4.24am on a Monday Morning and I’ve still not had any shut-eye. I’ve got to get up for work soon and to be honest, I’ve lost my motivation.

I find it extremely hard to talk about myself without putting on a facade, a happy face – my ‘yeah I’m totally coping act‘ but that’s what it is – an act. But, why do we do this? Why must we all pretend we’re fine when we’re not.

I think there’s a few reasons: 1. I think we don’t want to bother anyone else with our issues. 2. We have no idea what to say – I mean where the hell do you start? 3. Fear of being judged – it’s as if we think any Mental Health issues we may be facing make us less of a person somehow. 4. Work/Job – I think there’s this idea that if we want to be successful in our career then we have to be able to cope with our everyday life brilliantly. This, for me, is my biggest struggle. I find it hard to find that balance everyone talks about. Lastly 5. Social Media – we live in a world where Social Media is rammed down our throats constantly and in a world where people don’t post the negatives, only the positives. Then you get caught in a vicious cycle of thinking ‘everyone’s coping and having fun, except me’ which probably isn’t the case. 

That’s why I’m starting a blog – as a person who is struggling with Depression and Anxiety, I want to find my voice and this feels like a safe, good route.

I want to find therapy in writing, in letting it out. I’m trying to make myself realise that not coping is OK and it is pretty common. I’m not coping and that’s OK…right?

If through this blog, I can reach one person, or find one person that shares the same feelings as me, then may be I can prove it to myself that I am not alone and it’s good to talk about it.

Mental Health can make you feel isolated, even if you’re surrounded by people – mainly because it’s just so hard to open up and talk. So I’m going to give this thing a go and change my ‘shush don’t talk about it’ mentality.

Wish me luck!

Love,

Yellow Panda